my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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