is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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