oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
