I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize