Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
