no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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