yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
