so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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