I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
