Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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