Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
