i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
