..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
