i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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