I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
