just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
