I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
