Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
His hands were made for my vagina.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
