Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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