That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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