Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
