Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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