Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
