real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
