Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
