somebody snuck up and got me drunk
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
