what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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