I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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