Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
