I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize