guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
