Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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