Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
cat food counts as protein by the way
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
