She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize