You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
