I just made out with a guy for $7.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
