Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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