My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
