its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
