The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
