Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
