He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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