Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
