I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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