Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
