Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
