when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
