Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He passed out mid-signature
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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