I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
