He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
