I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
