We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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