She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
