i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
