i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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