I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Your penis caused this!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
