Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
