youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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