i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
