You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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