just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
